I want to propose a radically ridiculous idea to you:

“At any moment, regardless of what is happening, you can choose to be happy.”

Yeah right, are you crazy?” There are so many reasons to be unhappy – life is full of problems and difficulties. “I just lost my job,” or “My spouse and I are struggling,” or “I didn’t get this, or I didn’t get that.”

“I can’t just choose to be happy!”

But, what if . . .?

It’s possible that you and I have been programmed to believe that we can’t be happy unless certain conditions are met.

If you’re willing to do a little bit of digging and be ruthlessly honest, you may be surprised to find that happiness is a choice and always an option.

In 1970 Dr. Bruce DiMarsco came up with an idea for questioning our beliefs around being happy.

He gained an insight that he didn’t need to be unhappy about many of the things he was unhappy about.  He realized he didn’t need to use unhappiness as a means of motivation.

Bruce created a dialogue called the Option Method that  consists of a series of questions you can use to examine your own beliefs about why you’re unhappy.

It’s easy to get so caught up in our emotions that we forget we have a choice when it comes to how we feel. The Option Method allows us to examine the belief systems that result in us feeling unhappy, anxious, frustrated and angry.

If you’d like to know about The Option Method you can visit their website:
http://www.optionmethodnetwork.com/history/index.htm

You can also find many resources at http://choosehappiness.net/.

“What am I unhappy about?”
You can substitute any bad feeling for the word “unhappy’ in the question.  Be as very specific about what you’re feeling bad about. Instead of,  “I’m unhappy about my financial situation.” narrow it down to, “I’m unhappy I only have enough money each month to get by. There’s never enough for me to save.”

“What is it about that, that makes me unhappy?”
You would now ask yourself, “What is it about my my money that I am worried?”There are other ways of asking this question, such as, “What about my money situation worries (bothers, frightens, angers, saddens) me the most?” Another way to ask this question might be, “If that were to happen, what would I be most afraid of?” or, “If that were to happen, what would be the worst thing about it?”
The purpose of the questions is to help you get in touch with your reasons.

“Why am I unhappy about that?”
You ask yourself this question when you are satisfied that you have clearly identified, to the best of your ability, what it is specifically that is bothering you the most at this time. It is a simple question, but let’s make sure you understand it. “Why” means “for what reason.” This is one of the most important questions you may ever ask yourself. This question prompts you to recognize that you have your own very personal reason for feeling the way you feel. Often we get so caught up in our emotions that we have completely forgotten we are not actually feeling this way against our will. This wonderful, simple question gives you a renewed opportunity to begin your own self-enlightenment.

To apply this question to our example you would ask, “Why am I worried about getting sick?” In other words, “What is my reason for worrying about becoming unhealthy?” or “What would I be afraid of or what would it mean to me if I got sick?” At some point, you will find yourself feeling as if you don’t know why, that you just always have been unhappy (our model word, remember) about it, or it would seem natural to be unhappy under such circumstances. Perhaps you are not aware of any reason. You may feel somewhat dumbstruck or stuck. This is a natural phenomenon that takes place as we become more aware of our true selves. At this time we are on the threshold of self re-discovery. When this happens, it is time to move on to the fourth question.

“What am I afraid it would mean if I were not unhappy about that?”

Another way of asking this question is, “What am I afraid would happen if I were not unhappy about that?” This is an extraordinary question, one you may very well have never heard before. Repeat it a few times. You may at first simply feel that this a ridiculous question and that’s natural, but let this question into your heart and it will awaken you. Your initial response may be something like, “Well, it wouldn’t mean anything, I’d just be happy.” If so, you’re not really asking yourself the question. Ask again. You see, since nothing has been actually forcing you to feel the way you don’t like to feel, then up until now you must have had a reason for feeling this way. Until now, you have not exposed or questioned your reasons. You have assumed someone else’s belief, affirmed it and re-created as your own. When? It does not matter. What truly matters now is that through this question you embark on your own spiritual adventure.

Unchanged:

Once again, embrace the question,
“What am I afraid it would mean if I were not unhappy about that?”

After you have written down or spoken aloud your answer you will be ready for the final Option question. Take your time. Be satisfied with your answer. If you’re feeling a bit confused or uncertain, go back to the first question. It’s impossible to get lost on your own path. Use the questions as a tool, a flashlight, to light the pathway back to the truth in your own heart. Like the taste in your own mouth, only you can experience it and really know it. Be patient with yourself. You have spent a lifetime establishing and developing beliefs that you have never questioned in this way before. The Option questions, though seemingly simple, are new and foreign to you. Don’t rush it.

You may answer this question with something like, “It would mean I didn’t care,” or “It would mean I was crazy.” Or to use our example, you may answer, “If I wasn’t worried about being sick I’m afraid that I wouldn’t do anything to improve my lifestyle and health now.” This answer shows how you are preferring and choosing to be worried because if you weren’t it would mean you wouldn’t take care of yourself. These kinds of beliefs are at the core of all unhappiness.

Ask this final question now:
“Why do you believe it would mean that?”

In other words,
“Why do I believe that being happy would be bad for me right now?”

Seem too simple? Good! You’ve got it! When it comes to our bad or undesirable feeling, the particulars are as varied as we are, but the operating principles behind our feelings are fundamentally the same. If you believe something is bad, you feel bad about it. If you believe something is good, you feel good about it. If you believe that something is neither good nor bad, you don’t have any feelings one way or the other. Most importantly, if you believe that if you were to feel happy in any given situation that it would somehow be bad for you, then naturally, you won’t feel good. You are now on the threshold, about to take a new step towards being who you want to be. It’s your choice.

Remember, you are your own best expert. My invitation to you is to use the Option Method to rediscover your personal wisdom and happiness. Apply the Option questions to those emotional problems you have right now and you would like to solve. Once you lighten your negative emotional load you will be freer to feel however you want to feel, that which is most natural for you to feel, whatever is right for you.

“By using the Option Method we will be able to discover in actual practice, by personal experience, the role we play in our own emotions. We will then be able to see more clearly who we really are and how we really feel—happy.”