This article will help you understand how to communicate clearly in every day conversations and even more so when conversations becomes difficult.

It’s possible to learn to communicate in such a way that both parties are more satisfied and you can easily de-escalate troublesome conversations

Many people have never been taught to get in touch with their feelings and needs. It’s easy to get lost in ideas of what the other person has done to you and lose sight of your own needs wants and feelings. The default mode in our society seems to be to blame the other person for what they have done to you.

If you are not used to knowing how to take care of yourself and connect with your needs and feelings I recommend that you take choice number one. Sometimes in the heat of a conversation it’s very difficult to slow down and really see what’s going on behind the scenes.

If you’re new to this and you’re not able to express your needs and feelings,You may need to stop or walk away from a conversation so that you can figure that out. You can also. Another valuable option is to re-examine a unpleasant conversation or interaction with another person and think about what you were feeling and needing at the time.

This article is about learning to communicate clearly with empathy for both yourself and the other person when communication breaks down or you feel like you’re not being heard. This will also help you clear up every day conversations when you’re able to really connect with your needs wants and feelings.  Underneath all of this and underlying all of this is the capacity to love yourself unconditionally.This article is about learning to communicate clearly with empathy for both yourself and the other person when communication breaks down or you feel like you’re not being heard. This will also help you clear up every day conversations when you’re able to really connect with your needs wants and feelings.

Underneath all of this and underlying all of this is the capacity to love yourself unconditionally.

Don’t take anything personally it’s not meant that way even though it feels like it is.

People all have the same basic needs but a lot of people just have terrible strategies for trying to get those needs are met. If you can see through the strategy and see the need underneath it will make it a lot easier for you to understand what’s going on

Choice #1 – Self-Empathy
Get in touch with your needs and feelings. and clearly express them to the other person.

Examples:

“I’m feeling angry right now and I would like to take some time to think about this. Would you be willing to meet later today?”

“I’m a bit frustrated right now and I really wanna have a good chat with you. Could we meet in an hour and talk about this?”

“I’m feeling sad right now and I’d like to gain some clarity around this issue. Would you be willing to talk about this tomorrow?”

“I’m feeling anxious and I can see that we’re both triggered right now. Why don’t we meet later this afternoon when we’ve had time to cool off. Would that be OK with you?”

The key is to clearly express what you’re feeling and meeting with no blame or shame projected onto the other person. This is followed by a reasonable request to delay the conversation. This will give you time to get really clear about what you want and how you can express it to the other person.

If the other person is really triggered they may not want to delay the conversation. There’s basically two options you have in the situation. Number one is to walk away from the conversation which can be the wisest thing to do in many situation’s. The second is to offer the person empathy, to guess at what their needs and feelings are. Many times people will calm down when they feel that they are truly being listened to. One of the reasons people raise their voices and in Dalton other behavior is because they have never been listening to.

Choice #2
Other-empathy – guess what the other person needs and feelings are.